Forevermore
by Ansa
Summary: This is a touching Fic about RavenBB's rocky relationship
1. The Gift

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the sole property of DC and Cartoon Network. I do not own them nor do I claim such ownership. All new material is of my own creation.  
  
Chapter 1: The Gift By: Ansa  
  
The morning dew stood still in its position on the window pane of its choice, each a fine bead of memory of the night before. A light sheet of mist covered the water surrounding Titan Tower, wakes of the many passing ships crashing on the shore, silently enough to keep the adolescent avengers in their gentle slumber, well, at least one.  
Raven stirred under the heavy covers that shielded her body from the slight chill that now filled her room. As if the shade in which the walls and draping were in tone to wasn't enough, not a single candle or lamp burned in her seclusion, leaving her alone in the darkness that even seemed to surround her aura. Silence also seemed to be built in; barely a sound had been heard from her once she was in her room since she moved in. A slight fluttering of eyelashes signaled her wake, her eyes opened and to her there was no change from sleep to consciousness whilst in her room. The darkness soothed her, gave her the sense of peace in awaking as it did in slumber. A single hand rose up and touched her forehead, pushing stray hair out of the way and behind one ear as she pushed her slender pale body up from the mattress. Somehow, her eyes had grown accustom to the veil of shadow that now surrounded her and she was allowed to see dark outlines of nightstands, bureaus and various mystical objects spread around the room until she found her light blue pajama top on the floor. Its twin was still wrapped around the lower half of her body; she brought the cloth up over her head and let it slide down until her hands slipped out of the small holes at the end of the sleeves. Letting out a gentle yawn she pushed her covers aside and swung her legs out over the edge of the bed, standing up, her toes felt the slight tickle of the carpet beneath with each step she took to her door, the bathroom and shower just down the hall. Fumbling in the dark, a slight hiss filled the emptiness of silence as the door began to slide open.  
"SURPRISE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" The thundering blast of sound nearly knocked her off her feet, the door not even halfway open before the rest of the titans began their great cheer, tossing confetti, silly party hats resting atop their heads.  
"What?" Taken off guard, in her PJs and her hair straying in every direction, a dark scowl began to form upon her pale face.  
"It's your birthday Raven." The laid-back voice of Cyborg sounded behind a massive tower of presents in his arms, peering out the side of it.  
"Yes, a time where we can all celebrate with the feast of Krelnak." Almost in unison, each titan turned to the red haired alien behind them, not sure what to expect, but positive it would not be good.  
"Ok Star, what's a Krelnak?" Already nauseated, Beast Boy inquired grasping the cake upon its edges.  
"It is the stomach of a Krelnian desert weasel stuffed with the vegetables and grains of our farmers' greatest harvests." Subconsciously, they each groaned as the contents of their stomachs churned with the thought of this food passing through their lips.  
"I don't celebrate my birthday." Breaking the awkwardness of the moment, Raven took the chance to end this charade and get back to her grooming, eager to get out of her pajamas that were now covered in several tiny bits of colored paper.  
"How come?"  
"I just don't." Once again the awkward silence passed between them, Raven had been them for a long time, and but this was her first birthday with them, although technically it was her third she had not spoke of it. It took some digging but finally Robin was able to find it with the aid of Interpol and other such records concerning their sullen comrade. Each of them had purchased their own gift, each had helped with the cake, and however their "cooperation" aided nothing and ended up ruining the large pastry forcing the purchase of a new one.  
"Aww come on Raven, humor us, you might have fun." Raven let out a loud sigh and brought her hand up to her forehead.  
"Ugh, then will you leave me alone?"  
  
"Ok Raven, time for the presents!" Raven sat in the center of the couch, arms folded across her chest her hood fixed in place with her trademark monotone look upon her face. Next to her Cyborg reached over to the center of the coffee table and brought forward the first gift. "This one's from me." Her rested the small package on her lap, and soon the carefully wrapped silver paper surrounding it was tore into, tiny shreds fell to the floor as the bare white box was revealed and opened.  
"'Super Mega Death Fighters Plus'?" Raven lifted the thin cartridge from the oversized box, she might have been disappointed if only she had been excited to begin with, but this of course, was not the case.  
"YEAH!! It's the latest one in the series, which allows you to customize your own characters and." As Cyborg snatched up the cartridge and continued with his excitement, Robin leaned in and offered his own gift.  
"Uh, here's mine, I hope you like it. I kinda had a hard time picking it out though." The red and green wrapping paper added a tacky touch to the average sized gift, topped with a yellow bow. Slowly, the paper began to give way to her prying fingers and nails until what was inside was revealed. Again, the results were not too pleasing.  
"Dungeons and Dragons Players Manual?"  
"Yeah, I know you're into that kinda thing so I thought we could all learn and play." Even under her hood Raven still managed to give a slight display of disgust.  
"Now friends it is time for my gift to Raven." Sitting up from her spot next to Robin, gleefully Starfire reached behind the couch and placed her gift before the dark maiden, poorly wrapped of course. Due to its sorry packaging, it didn't take long for Raven to rip trough the paper and get to the rectangular clothing box beneath. Opening it so that the top covered her face, there it stayed for a good ten seconds as Raven peered inside. Slowly, the cover fell to show her eyes in a state of both amazement and repugnance.  
"You've got to be kidding me?"  
"I spent the longest time trying to find the right one, I hope it fits, I learned your size when we switched bodies last time." The others looked on, curious as to what she had received, as once again Raven peered inside the box, still in shock as to what she was expected to wear.  
"Well, what is it? Don't leave us hanging." Cyborgs parted from his game cartridge long enough to lean in and try to discern the mystery present. Immediately Ravens face flushed red and slammed the box shut, shooting up out of her seat before heading for her room.  
"This party is over."  
  
The night sky surrounded her every being, all that she was, was now cloaked in the serenity of dusk that had descended upon the city and Titan Tower. Raven sat upon the edge of the roof, her legs crossed, each arm stretched out so that her hands rested upon her knees as she tried to settle the days aggravations over meditation. She did not celebrate her birthday seeing as she saw now reason to do so, and now that she had she found another reason to never celebrate it again. It was quite obvious from each of their gifts that neither of her team mates knew anything about her. Video games? D&D? And then there was Starfires gift that still left chills down her spine. Perhaps it was her own fault, she thought, maybe she had shut herself out for too long? The thing that hurt the most was that for a single moment, she actually felt the excitement and joy one was supposed to feel at that time, but only found disappointment. But never again would she leave herself susceptible to pain and disappointment anymore.  
"Raven?" Without even hearing the door shut behind him, or open for that matter, Beast Boy's timid voice brought her back to reality and out of her thoughts. She sent no response to encourage him to disturb her further. Most likely he had come about her party with some sort of peace offering or something and she wasn't in the mood for anyone at the time, especially if it had to deal with the events of this morning. "Listen, I know it wasn't exactly the best party in the world but." Beast Boy scratched the back of his head, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering up his throat and trying to escape through the mouth, the tension even getting to them. "We just wanted to show you we care you know? I mean, we know you like you privacy and you like being on you own but we just want you to be apart of our lives more." Again no answer came, Raven had heard every word, she could have tuned them out but she hadn't something about the sound of his voice made her feel that it was sincere and almost want to go join them in the living room. However moved she was by these words, she did not stir from her spot, not did a single eye pry open. Then something unexpected happened, and the sound of a solid object being place behind her replaced Beast Boys nervous voice. "You left before I could give this to you."  
Beast Boy turned from his spot, his gift lying upon the cold floor beneath him and his spirit totally shot from this one-sided conversation. So badly had he wanted her for once to be apart of their fun, to be apart of his fun. The animosity between them troubled him so; he had a hard time dealing with those who did not seem to like him much.  
"Scripts and Spells of Ancient Egypt." Beast Boy turned fast to see Raven standing in front of a pile of wrapping paper, grasping a large worn book, reeking of ages of dust, a book which she felt great intrigue for. "Where did you get this?"  
"You like it? I found it at this old shop downtown, it's a little hard to find but if you know where you're going it's not so tough." A slight smile grew on his face; it seems that he had been able to succeed where the others had failed her. Raven rose her hand and pulled back her hood so that her eyes might have a better look at the text in her hands. Each page was filled with secrets of the society that had once ruled most of the world, spells, incantations, sacred rituals, there was not a page that excited her less then the once preceding it. Slowly, a smile began to form and she turned to the one next her, the only one who was able to understand her on this day.  
"Thank you." 


	2. Regret and Circumstance

Disclaimer- Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such ownership. All new material is of my own creation.  
  
Chapter 2: Regret and Circumstance By: Ansa  
  
For once the tower was silent, no video games, no rowdy games, no TV, just silence. The sun had been up for several hours, the minute hand on the clock passed its peek countless times in the hours in which the occupants were awake. Beast Boy made his way down the hall curious as to the lack of noise. The night before had made him more happy then he could ever remember, the party had been a disaster, the damage seemed irreparable, that is until he saw the look on her face when she clutched the large text in her hands, glancing with fascination to each page. Raven had actually smiled at him, not at him and Cyborg, not at the entire gang, but just him. He had made her happy, and that was the only thing he had ever wanted to do.  
As the corridor opened up to the much larger living room, Beast Boy leaned on the corner of the wall, taking in each inch of the room searching for someone else besides himself. Propped on the couch sat Raven, deep into her reading of the dusty hardback given to her the night before, her hood lowered so that her hair and eyes were quite recognizable. Aside from this, there was not another soul to be found, five o-clock in the afternoon and not one other titan could be found to fill the silence that was both soothing and unsettling at the same time.  
"Hey, where is everyone? Did Starfire try to cook dinner again?" Beast Boy made his way into the living room, still searching in each direction for signs of movement, placing himself behind the couch just next to where Raven sat, leaning against the top edge.  
"I don't know." Raven didn't even look up from her read, her eyes never leaving the ancient text that took some time to decipher the first time she picked it up. Personally, the silence was a blessing, now she could come out of her room and study if she wanted to. But strangely, she also felt alone, for the first time she actually felt that she would be more at ease with the rest of the group banging around making such a racket that she was forced into her room. Even though it annoyed her, it felt homier that way, as if she never had to be anyone else but herself.  
"Enjoying the book?" Suddenly Beast Boy's voice once again broke the silence, as well as her concentration, almost making her jump from the sudden brake in calm. And to her absolute shock, her cheeks flushed a soft pink knowing that he was that close to her. This was completely new for her; never before had she strayed so far from her melon coli disposition. Her mind raced to find an excuse for this, her heart pounded, praying he hadn't noticed her.  
"Uh.yes." Quickly she inquired him, desperately trying to get her act back together. "But, I'd like to know, where did you get this?"  
"Oh, right downtown, its not to far from the pizza shop actually, I could take you if you want." This time, it was BB turn to blush, even through his dark green skin one could see that the concept of taking Raven out to town alone seemed suggestive and embarrassed him for even bringing it up. Then the two pages in which the book was pry open to meet with a soft clap and the back cover gently set upon the cushion next to her.  
"OK." Fortunately for him, Raven saw nothing of the proposition aside from the friendly gesture of one of her comrades. Even as she stood up, Raven fought back the sudden loss of control that had almost gotten her into an awkward situation. BB was taken aback; at first not realizing that she accepted, and then that she didn't find the question at all suggestive to anything between them. He was relieved, and yet, at the same time he was a little disappointed. Raven was like no one else he had ever met before in her life, and for some reason, he wanted her to be a part of it.  
  
The subway was eerily empty that day, especially for its location, usually one could count on several people parading in their faces shielded by the mornings newspaper, briefcases hanging to their side and dark business suits clutching to their bodies. Today however, the entire car had a combined occupants of three, Raven, Beast Boy, and lonely old man riding the subway all around the city as a change of pace in his dull life. As they sat the familiar feeling of the cold and stiff surface beneath them shot through their bodies. The second her back rested in place, Raven's book was once again open and her eyes glided across the pages, picking out various spells and examining their effect very carefully. Beast Boy on the other hand, felt less at ease, instead his entire body went stiff, just as the "seats" in which they propped themselves in. The familiar beeps and hisses sounded and the doors shut as the train began to slowly lurch forward, giving a slight jerk as it went, only adding more uneasiness to Beast Boys temperament at the time. His mind raced as the car went dim, the overhead lights providing very little to see, apparently many bulbs needed replacing and not enough light was allowed for Raven to continue in her fascination and thus once again the book snapped shut and she let it rest upon her lap. The gentle rocking of the train slowly calmed his nerves and BB was able to relax, let his body free from its rigid state and exhale for the first time since they entered the confining module. BB looked up and out to the opposite side of the car and watched as periodic panels of light passed by, breaking only for more darkness. This systematic pulsing seemed to make a rhythm, reminding him of the many strobeing lights and throbbing sounds of the many nightclubs and rave parties he had attended. To him, the music had an a deep effect on his movements and actions, as if a sirens song the synthetic sound and bass lines seemed to posses his body, forcing it to contort in ways it never had before. He could look back to each and every party and not think of any two songs that made him dance in the same exact way. Each tone was different, different pulses, different processional beats, not one was the identity of another played before it. Each one he could still picture in his mind as clear as the lights flashed before him now, Cyborg would be grooving next to him, Robin and Starfire would be either trying to dance or sitting at the table chatting and Raven.Raven was always alone, no matter if she stayed at home or even if she came, she almost never seemed to be with anyone else. This thought sent a cold wave of regret down his body. He realized that he had never really tried to get her to dance, maybe he asked once or twice, but he never really tried. He had always shrugged it off and had his own way, not once thinking of leaving the dance floor and joining her, if not to just give her someone to stand and look on with. Perhaps they might have talked, perhaps not, but at least she wouldn't have been alone. BB tried to shake this cold chill down his back, they still had at least fifteen minutes until the train came to their stop, plus each stop before it was bound to take at least another minute or so to start going again even if no one else got on. The last thing he needed was to be aching over this for the rest of the ride, whatever he felt before would have no comparison to this sort of brooding. The rocking of the car as it made its way down the tracks became even more soothing than before, giving the illusion of the comfort of being at home in your own bed, or in your favorite hammock at your cabin in the country. BB closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the swaying and coasting, it almost felt as if they were riding on air. The sound also became soothing, almost the equivalent of the soft patter of rain against window sills on the weekend, the kind of rain that had little clouds, still allowing the sun to grant a low glow illuminating the drops that formed on the glass. He felt warm, he felt safe, he felt happy. Then the swaying started to slow and dissipate as the train neared the next station, not their stop, but someone's for sure. BB watched as the lights began to glow brighter and eventually the entire light of the station poured in. A low hum followed by a slight screech sounded as the car came to a stop and the doors open letting only the old man out and the slightly cooler air in. As the doors closed once again, BB turned his head to look at his companion. "Guess we're the only ones out today." But to his surprise, the only response he received was Ravens slumbering head resting upon his left shoulder, a soft rhythm of breathing coming out her nose and lifting and lowering her chest. In seeing this, BB smiled, closed his eyes and let his head rest upon the window behind him as the gentle rocking that had eased Raven to sleep, let him drift into peaceful oblivion.  
  
"So this is it?" Raven looked up to the hanging sign just above the dark and dusty store window written in a very distinct font. The door was old and had been painted over several times, the many shades of brown and grey bled through as to make a completely new color. "Yep, this is it alright, 'The Black Orb.'" Beast Boy stood not too far behind her, his hands resting on his hips and looking up in the same direction as her, quite proud of himself for being able to remember where it actually was. Raven stood there in the same fascination as she appeared when reading on the old text she now held at her side. As she made her way to the door, her hand already grasping the handle, she turned to see Beast Boy peering into the shop window next door, hands in pockets. "I'll only be a few minutes." Beast Boy turned suddenly, snapped out of his concentration on the object behind the glass. "Huh? Oh, ok, I'll meet up with you out here then." With that he turned and made his way inside, the soft jingle of the hanging bell signaling his disappearance into the store. And although she was quite fine on her own, for some reason she could not explain in her person, she felt a slight twinge of regret that he would not be joining her. Quickly she shook her head, once again trying to control these new and uncontainable thoughts and emotions, letting them drift away in her mind as she passed through the door frame, letting it shut behind her. Inside the smell of incense and mothballs intertwined to form this strange scent that both eased her mind and made her flinch at the first sniff of it. All along the walls stood bookcases filled with dusty old texts like the one she held under her arm at this very moment. Tapestries and decorative material of all age and origin patterned the spaces in which no more book shelves could be placed. In the middle of the room sat several tables with numerous fixings and trinkets, many fashioned in copper or gold. In the middle of the building, jutting out the east wall was the register on a bench forming out of the floor and all around the old woman that could be seen arranging small vials of a strange liquid behind her seat. It seemed that the sound of the door opening did not sway her actions any and this gave Raven comfort, knowing that she would not be hustled to buy anything she did not want. Slowly she canvassed the entire store, thumbing through the old books, carefully examining the tiny trinkets, and posing behind the many clerical robes in the rear part of the store. Her mind was filled with such curiosity, such fascination she almost didn't notice the old women approaching her as she propped up a long black robe made of fine silk. "Ah, your mind is filled with much wonder young one. Might I inquire into what you seek?" "Only knowledge." Raven was taken back a bit by the old woman's sudden appearance behind her, slowly gaining back her nerves before gently folding the robe back up and placing it on its rack. "Ah, Knowledge, knowledge is a good thing to seek. But one must know oneself before they might fully seek the knowledge they require." Her words were eerily close to being specific. Raven turned to look, only to see that she had disappeared behind her little bench and motioned for her come near. As Raven made her way over, the old women bent down under her line of sight and came back up with something wrapped in an old cloth. The old women held it out in both hands offering it to the young girl in the dark garbs. Reluctantly, Raven took it from her hands, cautiously peeling back the cloth to find an old hand mirror, beautifully designed and crafted in silver from the looks of it; the glass of the mirror grew brown lines around the corner rims from its old age. This disappointed her, an enchanted mirror was not new to her, in fact she had one in her room in which she used for meditation. The old woman's mysterious presence had dulled her senses and had gotten her hopes up for something fantastic. Instead, all she had received was an ordinary enchanted mirror. "A spell mirror, I have one of these. I'm sorry but it isn't anything I haven't seen before." Raven slowly placed the mirror face down on the bench and was about to walk away when the old woman called to her. "It is not enchanted," Raven looked at her with intrigue, "It is a regular, ever day, common mirror." Her words confused Raven, and yet, she knew there was some greater meaning behind it. "I get this feeling from you, that you spend your entire time seeking knowledge that you have lost all meaning as to who you are, and where your true desires lie." Raven was struck, the words still lingering in her mind, ringing in her ears, and sinking in deep where she had tried to bury these strange new emotions she had begun to feel. Then, she went to pick up the mirror again, and this time when she looked into it, she did not see its magic or its spells, instead, she saw herself, or rather two eyes and a mouth peering out from under a dark blue hood. With her eyes still fixed on the mirror she lifted her free hand and pulled back her robe so that she might see herself in the looking glass for the first time in so long. All the mirrors she had peered into only showed a hood with white eyes peering out, if that, finally, she was able to see herself for who she was. Then, her eyes moved to the edge of the glass and the strange pink flush appeared again as she saw Beast Boy reflecting back. Quickly she set the mirror down and turned to see him waiting outside the store window, peering across the street as something. "Do you see?" Once again, a feeling a cold swept over her and her mind was set adrift, not knowing exactly what to make of this wisdom bestowed upon her. "T-Thank You." As she grabbed her book that she had placed upon the bench to glance in the common mirror, her free hand went to pull up her hood, but then she stopped, what she had just learned sticking with her and she let her hand fall to her side, letting her to show her face, with an idea of who she was now. And as she left the store behind, holding her book tightly to her chest she smiled. Outside, BB straitened up from his slight lean as she came out, looking quite content with her self. "So, you find anything good." "Maybe." And as soon as those words left her lips she smiled and couldn't keep from blushing. 


	3. The Pain of Not Knowing

Disclaimer~Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such ownership. All additional material is of my own creation.  
  
Chapter 3: The Pain of Not Knowing By Ansa  
  
"Don't know what to say, Don't know what to do I think I might  
be losing my mind. Can't stop this agony, Cancel my therapy cause  
I just thought of you and now I feel fine."  
-Finger Eleven  
  
"Come on BB, give it up, you know you can't beat me at my own game." Cyborgs relentless taunts could be heard all the way down the hall, but anyone who was close enough to the two could see that his disposition was not confidence, rather frustration and concern.  
"Oh yeah, then why are you sweating huh?" A rather large smile grew on Beast Boys face as his thumbs pounded furiously on the controller, guiding his character across the screen throwing kicks and jabs that sent to opposed flying off in the other direction.  
"It's hot in here that's all." His bluff was not called, for a frown even larger than BB smile began to form on his face, his hands swinging the controller here and there as his own thumbs did there work. Across the room sat Raven perched with her book as she could be found most days lately, not even the commotion before her stirred her concentration. Periodically she found herself glancing up to take a quick look at BB only to scold herself, forcing her head back down to her studying, a slight flush of pink forming upon her cheeks each time. She was still pondering the events at the spell shop, still fresh in her mind; last week had left her with much to think about. These new feelings, new uncontrollable emotions, and what she saw in the mirror that night, all of these things buzzed around in her head, barely allowing enough concentration to read the text upon the old, yellowed pages of her book. Each time she thought of these things, and even somewhere out of the blue like this very moment, she would begin blushing uncontrollably, desperately trying to force the color back out of her skin. The night was coming once again; outside the sun had fallen below the watery horizon, coloring the liquid many shades of red, orange and even purple from the passing clouds. Now was the perfect time for her to get some meditation, Ravens mind needed to be cleared so that she might sort her situation out, that she might find some sort of peace. As she got up to leave she could still hear the commotion behind her and hid a slight smile.  
"YES!!! WOO HOO!!! GOTCHA!!"  
"WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE!!! YOU CHEATED!"  
  
The day was perfectly clear that day, not a cloud blemished the view so that one could not tell the sea from the sky, the sun tucked up in the corner of the day. Raven opened the door to a blast of cool air breezing in, the salty air once again invading her lungs as it had many times before. The familiar sound of the ocean brining her to the state of relaxation that was almost programmed into her by now, the many times she sat up here, it was like her body knew what to expect. Slowly she pushed the door shut behind her and turned, but here eyes did not fall upon emptiness as it was usually, instead she saw and occupied perch on the edge where sat Robin and Starfire.  
At first it slightly startled her; she was not expecting anyone up there, usually if there was it was either to get her down or to toss rocks off into the ocean when video games lost their fun. But when she looked at them together like that, she got a strange feeling that this was not either case. The two sat side-by-side, barely a foot between them, and both pairs of legs swung out and dangling several hundred feet above the ground. Her lips moved to form words but nothing came out, for some reason, Raven was unable to speak, something had stopped her. The two of them had been looking at each other since she spotted them, their eyes glazed over closed slightly as the movement of their hands clasping together signaled her heart beating in her throat. She knew what was about to happen now, but she could not comprehend it, if she had control she would have turned to run but her legs had been frozen in place. Before her, she watched as their hands came together, fingers intertwining and a slight squeeze on both parties triggered a warm smile. They had been unusually close since Starfire arrived, but no one ever thought anything of it. She was after all, a stranger from a different planet, her mind set in this new surrounding made her seem like a child almost, and Robin was only looking out for her right? No one could have ever seen this coming, but then, no one had the time or piece of mind to notice either. Her eyes widened and the pink flush in her cheeks appeared once again as they leaned in, their eyes closing slowly with each inch closer they came until their lips met in a soft, warm kiss.  
Ravens spirit felt a hard blow that very instant, sending a dark wave of emotion to sweep over her, covering her entire body with a strange mix of shock and sorrow that chilled her entire body. She began to shake, her eyes began to tear and she once again gained control of her legs enabling her to turn and dash back inside. Her own reaction to this confused her, why was she crying? Why did this bother her so? As these questions repeated themselves over and over her mind was filled with the reminiscent images. Each time their lips met a single tear rolled down her cheek, another piece of her heart breaking. As she ran down the hall she kept her hand up to her mouth, desperately trying to suffocate the sobs that plagued her. Her confusion only made her cry harder, it scared her so, this not knowing what was going on in her own soul, not having control of her own emotions anymore.  
"Woah!" Her eyes were so blurred with tears that she didn't even see Beast Boy walking down the hall towards her, it wasn't even until she bumped into him that she even remembered he and Cyborg were also home. As her body jolted with the collision, some tears fell from her eyes, landing on her cape, making the material dark and moist.  
"Excuse me." Raven hadn't stopped; instead she took the slight bump and added momentum, racing around him and into her room. She couldn't face him now, not with her emotions this out of control, how could she figure out her outbursts with him if she didn't even know why she was crying. She needed to find control, she needed to remain strong. Right now her heart ached with a thousand burdens, each taking its own significant toll on her will, the heaviest of which being BB, and these outbursts of emotion that occurred when she was around him. With her spirit dangling on the edge of disaster, she knew that she couldn't bare another eruption of any kind.  
The cold steel door slid shut behind her as she entered the sanctity of her room, the one place she knew that she would be free from any of the many things that plagued her heart, and a place where she could try and dispose them quickly, and without interruption. Inside the room was cold, either by the natural feel of it or by the tears that rolled down her cheek she could not tell. Her unexplained sorrow was now anger, she did not want these feeling, not one of them, not even the ones that bring her joy for they are all unpredictable and hard to control. She would be better off without them. Yes, she knew what she had to do. As this plan formed in her mind, her face was no longer pain stricken, but filled with determination and spite, her hand coming up to brush away the last of the tears.  
"This is the only way." Quickly she turned to her dresser where lay her enchanted mirror, the only thing that could relieve her pain, for if she could not control these feelings, she must destroy them. Her hand trembled as she picked up the handle, the glass facing down so that she would not be taken unexpectedly. She was nervous, as determined as she was to do this, to end this all right not, without even finding the answers to her questions about these uncontrollable feelings, she knew that there was no turning back from this, for there was no bringing them back. Then of course, there was a slight risk involved. Destroying ones aspects of personality is a dangerous thing, the person may become unbalance, with no emotions meant no fear which could sign their death warrant in many situations. Not only that, but she may lose all she was, slip into a catatonic state for all eternity, never remembering anything of her past life.  
That last thought passed through her mind and loosened her grip on the handle; her eyes shot wide open at the thought of having no memories, of forgetting. She slowly began to lower the looking glass back down, second thoughts now whizzing by in her mind weighing the pros and cons. All the things she would forget, things she both wanted and didn't now made their way into her focus. Minutes passed as all her life was reviewed, until one memory stood out in her mind, something she never wanted to forget. As if signaling her decision, a single tear fell from the corner of her eyes, and the last motion to set the mirror down was taken.  
"B-Beast Boy." She was shocked at the one reason that saved her from a possible destruction of self, the one person she rarely thought of before, now was her savior, though he never knew it. Raven fell to her knees, so very tired of crying, her throat aching from her sobs, eyes still watering slightly as she forced the tears back with all the mental strength she had. "Why him?" She was confused, the mere thought of sorting things out made her head hurt. So many questions still remained in her mind: Why did seeing Robin and Starfire kiss hurt her so? Why was she loosing grip on her emotions? And why had the thought of forgetting BB stop her from her act of desperation? Right now her mind was in a state of cleansing, trying to clear out all the agony that had collected in the past few days. She was tired, tired of it all, tired of the emotions, tired of her pain, tired of not knowing what was going on in her own tortured soul.  
  
Note from the Author~ Wow, haven't done one of these in a while! Not since my old Tenchi series (see favorite stories). Anyways, I know this is a short one, but right now Im not exactly proud of this particular chapter, plus I figured this was the best place to end it. On another note, please stop replying about the paragraphs, I KNOW THEY ARE BIG ON FF.NET but on my word program they appear fine so unless u have a solution leave me alone! Lol. Well, gotta go! Later Days! 


	4. Unfinished Affection

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such ownership. All additional material is of my own creation.  
  
Chapter 4: Unfinished Affection By: Ansa  
"I'm knowing that right now is all that matters.  
The only thing that matters  
  
is just following your heart  
  
and eventually you'll finally get it right."  
  
-The Ataris  
  
The day had winded down before her as she sat in her room still alone with these traitorous feelings swelling inside her chest. The tears had finally stopped flowing, and she was able to sit in silence, and sort things out as best she can without summoning back the sorrow that leaked from her eyes. It did not hurt to think of these things anymore, her migraines in trying had passed, and she was able for the first time in a while, take in a deep breath and relax.  
"*KNOCK* *KNOCK* H-Hey Raven, you ok?" A soft gentle voice sounded from outside her door just as the warm air she had just taken in, was exhaled out her lungs and passed her lips. Even though the heavy steel muffled the tone of voice, she knew immediately who it was; Beast Boy had come out of concern. Perhaps it had taken him longer than he initially planned but, he had a hard time of figuring out how you console someone as complicated as her. At first she hesitated, waiting for that flush of pink upon her cheeks, but something strange happened. This time, she felt no such feelings overtake her, nor the blush upon her face; instead, she felt a strange swell of comfort all over her body. She might have preferred the old mind shaking emotions; at least she was used to them, what she knew now as completely new to her and scared her slightly, but not enough to acknowledge his call.  
"I'm fine."  
"You sure?" Raven had to search herself for a moment, his concern was sincere. She felt cared for, like a family. But still, she wasn't about to drag him into her own problems.  
"Yeah." Her voice trembled a bit, but it managed its way out. And Raven was once again left with her thoughts to her own. She listened carefully as BB soft footsteps made their way passed her door and slowly started to fade away. These soft patters echoed in her mind, each one sinking her deeper into a cold feeling of regret and sorrow. The cold engulfed her, forcing her to wrap her arms around her chest, hanging her head low, her powerful mind trying to force back the bitter regret that hung in her heart. She felt the room grow around her, making her feel even more insignificant in an already large universe. She was truly alone now, she knew that, she knew that she didn't have to be, and yet she let it go. No, she was not going to let this pass alone, she did not know how to fight it alone, or even if she could.  
"Beast Boy wait!"  
  
"So, what's going on?" The two had sat themselves down on the floor leaning against the edge of Ravens bed, the only light being that of a single candle in the corner, a symbol of her last hope for sanity. Raven curled herself up, holding her knees tight and resting under her chin, barely making eye contact with the first person she had invited into her room, a boy for that matter.  
"I don't know; I just.I never had lost control like this before."  
"What do you mean?" Beast Boy was confused, but still he did not show it, the only thing he wished to reveal was his concern. For a moment Raven did not answer, feeling her eyes getting moist at the thought of it, but her words that she soon spoke gave her a chance to fight them back.  
"Today."  
"Yeah?"  
"Today I saw Robin and Starfire kissing." The words had left her lips for several long moments now, but its meaning had left the listener in shock. A strong numbness waved across Beast Boys body as his mind put together all the clues and tender moments the two shared that eventually came to the conclusion that led to a kiss. Robin and Starfire, he should have figured it out earlier, but he didn't, no one had until this point.  
"Wow, I feel slow." Raven fought back a smile, one of the very few times she found Beast Boys joke funny. He turned to her, still confused, for his face showed it. "But why should that bother you so much?"  
"That's the problem, I don't know. I've always been in somewhat control of my feelings, normally that wouldn't bother me but lately it's been weird. It's like I have no say in what they do anymore, like my emotions can do whatever they want whenever they want despite my objections." She could feel the room grow tense as silence fell upon them again. At this point Beast Boy was just as confused as she was, he didn't have any answers for her, but simply being there was enough for her.  
"Well, like what kind of emotions do you feel are going out of control, I mean like, what other situations have you 'lost control?'" Ravens cheeks flushed a hot pink and her head shot up from behind her knees, her eyes darted back and forth, her mind desperately searching for something to redirect the conversation. She knew very well which situations made her loose control, but she couldn't very well tell him such things. It wasn't just out of courtesy, but it was also out of fear, fear for what those emotions might mean.  
"I just.I just wish things were back to normal, when I couldn't feel these things. They only make things worse." Raven set her head back into place, her eyes returning to their spot on the floor.  
"Well, maybe it's better to have them. I mean, it's not good to fell nothing at all."  
"I had emotions before, but I not these kinds. Not the ones that hurt more than they were supposed to."  
"I hate to sound like some cheap 'after-school special', but everyone has those feelings at some point, It's a part of life. The trick is to deal with them the best way you know."  
"But I don't KNOW how to deal with them, I've never had them before; I don't even know what they mean. Why would something that has nothing to do with me cause me so much pain?"  
"I don't mean at all to sound like I understand how you're feeling, but maybe you acted like that because you never experienced the affection they are." Beast Boy quickly flushed his own shade of red, comprehending the words he just spoke, and who he said them to. Next to him he could see that Ravens eyes had opened slightly wider as she pondered the situation, his words sinking in and her eyes feeling drenched but not yet tearing.  
She didn't want to believe it was the truth; she refused to even acknowledge the suggestion. Yet deep down, she knew that all she stubbornness would not be able to hide that which she knew to be true. Jealousy and affection were the two emotions she had never come across in her life. Now she realized that she still hadn't felt affection, but she coveted it so. The warm feeling in her heart from the love of another, she would never know, or so she thought. She was convinced that she would forever be a slave to these shackling emotions and that she would not be free to live like she wanted. Her heart soon ached once again, her hear hurt as the tears forced their way through her mental block. Her head sank lower behind her knees and she wept, not caring anymore who saw her do so.  
Then she felt a slight pressure on her right hand as it was pulled from its place on her knees, and grasped gently. Raven looked up to see her hand held tenderly by Beast Boys, his eyes filled with comfort as he looked at her.  
"W-What are you doing?"  
"Just go with it." Then before she knew it, they were both leaning in, their eyes becoming more and more shallow on the way. With his left hand holding hers, his right moved up to her cheek, easing her in. Neither of them felt nervous, or had the time to blush. The feeling they were getting was unlike anything else in the world. Most people would say that time stops, but to them, it seemed to fly by, it was only them that became sluggish. It was like a drug, it was like their bodies had switched into a pre-set program for kissing, that all they had to do was sit back and enjoy the ecstasy of it all. Their eyes closed now, their lips began to shape themselves to receive each other, curling upward slightly and moistening to make the experience soft and pleasant. The warmth of each others breath blew against their cheeks and only enticed the two more.  
"HEY BEAST BOY, I WANT A REMATCH!!!" Suddenly, Cyborgs bellows broke the scene quickly as the open door filled itself with his looming outline. Quickly the two shot back to their original positions, hands placed firmly on the floor and faces painfully straight ahead of them. Now that the moment had passed, the red color returned, full force to their faces. "Hey, what are you guys doing in here?" His tone was very suspicious sounding, with a slight hint of laughter sounding at the awkward situation.  
"Uh.we were just talking." Beast Boy stood up, his hand moved to the back of his head, scratching his tuffed hair as he made his pathetic attempt at covering up their actions, lucky for him when it comes to video games; Cyborg had a one track mind.  
"Oh, well then I guess that means you're not willing to defend your title."  
"I didn't say that!" Beast Boy raced to the door following Cyborg as he moved down the hall to the living room, firing up the Gamestation. But just before he left, he leaned in past the door frame and gave Raven a warm smile.  
After his smiling face left her view, Raven sat their, going back on what had just happened, or to be more precise what almost happened. Her tears had faded halfway into their attempt, but the returned now, but they were not tears of sorrow, but rather tears of joy. For she knew now that there was at least someone who would show her affection, someone who was willing to be with her and make her feel wanted and cared for. And as the tears rolled down her cheek she smiled and let her heart rest from the pain that had plagued it most of the day. Raven lay back onto the edge of her bed, feeling the soft cushion of her cover lighting her head feeling soft against her skin, much like his hand against her cheek. She felt comfort in his touch, she felt like nothing she ever had before, she now know what Robin and Starfire were feeling at that time on the roof. She was happy, and now, she could finally rest, her mind and soul at ease.  
Slowly she got up to closed the door and the darkness once again retuned to her room. In the privacy of the impervious veil, she removed her uniform, replacing it with her pajama top leaving the bottom in the drawer. Her bare legs felt a cool zing as she slipped beneath the sheets of her bed, laying on her back staring up at the ceiling, and falling asleep with the memory of the affection yet unfinished. 


	5. A Suffering Heart Must Heal

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of DC Comics and Cartoon Network. I do not claim any false ownership, no copyright infringement is intended. All additional material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me.  
  
Chapter 5: A Suffering Heart Must Heal By: Ansa  
  
Life after that day was more awkward than expected, for everyone. Robin and Starfire knew Raven had seen them, and couldn't think of how to deal with the delicate situation, and then there was Raven and Beast Boy's problems. Afterward, instead of getting better, things got worse. The hole in Ravens soul had grown since they almost.A part of her tried its hardest to convince her it didn't happen, while the rest of her protected the truth with all its might. For now the moment was preserved in her mind, the soft touch of his skin on hers, his breath, and the way she so easily accepted him. All of it was in threat of being tossed aside. She knew it had happened, but wait. It didn't happen, that was the truth, it almost happened. That was the problem, "almost." The word echoed in her head over and over, slowly reverting her back to the state she was once in at the start of the entire situation. Her heart ached, and every time their eyes met in crossing down the hall, she turned away as the tears began to flow again.  
The roof, despite the pain it had caused previously, was now her only sanctuary, even her room was filled with the torture of what almost happened. Each day she sat, staring out at the endless ocean, like a great mirror. A mirror. She now despised that mirror in the old shop; it had only given her false hope. It was that damn mirror that made her think that she could let her guard down, but it only brought her those torturous emotions. But now, that hope was lost, and her hood now retuned to its upright position, signaling her loss of that person she had for only a quick tender moment in time. She felt thoroughly shredded inside, pieces of her former self scattered here and there. She didn't quite know where she stood, for now she had been able to keep her emotions in check, not letting them escape, aside from the occasional pass of Beast Boy in the halls.  
This particular day the skies turned grey, the clouds fogging the sky and choking the sun. The seas reflective surface made it seem like there was no end, as if some child had colored in over the lines so there was one solid block of grey. Outside, the wind began to blow, fluttering her cape behind her, and making the sea more defined by the choppy waves. Her mind was relatively clear, refusing to reflect back upon the past events, although she knew that she would have to confront them sometime soon. Soon, in fact, had come quicker than expected, for her peace was shattered when she heard the shutting of the stairwell door behind her.  
She didn't turn her head, she did not wish to acknowledge her presence, and she did not wish to talk. Footsteps pattered behind her and slowly grew louder as the distance between them closed. Then, there was silence again, without even looking; Raven could decipher the exact position next to her of the person belonging to the footsteps.  
"So, you put your hood back down?" Raven turned in surprise to see Starfire sitting next to her, staring off into the horizon, her hair blowing in the wind like a blazing fire.  
"What do you mean?"  
"You had it down for a while, even during battles. I just thought you liked it better that way."  
"Guess not." Raven turned back to her empty stare, trying to end the conversation there, to prevent in any and all chances of her getting involved with something she didn't want to be in.  
"Listen, I may be new to this planet and I do not understand many things. But I do understand that you have been acting strangely lately." Raven cringed, she could sense the topic coming up, not sure if she could keep hold of the tight grip she had on her emotions. "Robin and I." She paused, her head lowering a bit and her cheeks flushing the same tone that Raven's had. As she reflected on that tender moment, Starfire's heart was filled aflutter with a rush of feelings, mostly the affectionate kind. Since she had come to this planet, Robin had been so sweet, and kind to her. He made her feel so safe and comfortable in this strange new world she was placed that wasn't anything like home. When she looked at him, she felt a tenderness that made her want to be a part of his life, and that they might share something great together that she would not be able to find anywhere else, even at home.  
"I know, I saw you, so let's drop it." Raven didn't let her finish, she was going to end this before it started, her heart already loosing grip. She began to rise only to have Starfire's hand on her shoulder force her back down.  
"You don't seem to be doing well about it. Why?"  
"I'm fine, now can we please talk about something else?"  
"No, I do not like to cause other people tears, especially not my friends." Starfire looked at her, her eyes filled with such tender concern that Raven could not hold it back any longer. Her eyes filled with tears and her hands shot up to catch them, knocking off her hood and letting her hair fly back in the wind.  
"I don't know what's going on with me. I just can't seem to keep control anymore, and then there's." Raven quickly stopped herself, frightened at which she had almost said, not entirely sure it was the truth.  
"Beast Boy?" Raven did not answer, only her sobs replied to Starfire's inquiry. Starfire held her close and let the tears soak into her uniform showing Raven the only comfort she knew to give. "Perhaps you could talk to him, find out his feelings in order to define your own?"  
"I know how he feels. It's just that." Ravens tears had stopped for a moment, she wasn't sure she wanted to reveal what she really felt, but she knew she had to. "I-I just don't know how I feel yet."  
"But that night in your room."  
"How do you know about that?"  
"Cyborg told us." Raven scowled a bit on the inside, she never for a minute thought that he would buy Beast Boy's excuse, but then she also didn't expect him to tell anyone.  
"That.I don't know, it was out of reflex I guess." Raven knew that was the truth, as horrible and cold as it may sound, it was the truth. That night was a simply reaction, and she knew not how she felt. These feelings were conflicting, inside she knew she cared for him, he was sweet and caring, but just how much she cared was not well defined.  
"Well then, I still suggest talking to him."  
"How can I? What am I supposed to say?" Starfire had to think for a moment, she was still new to the courting customs of the people of this planet, but perhaps she could base it on what she already knew.  
"Tell him that you know how he feels but you just need time to figure things out."  
"No, guys see that as the kiss of death, I mean.What if he loses interest by the time I figure it out?"  
"So you are afraid of him losing interest in you?"  
"No, well.I mean.I don't know." Raven was so full of these confusing notions in her mind. She did not know how she felt, yet she was afraid of him losing interest in her, why? Why can't she just take that as the fact that she does care for him? No, it couldn't be that easy, there were too many factors left untouched. What if he wanted to.  
"Is everything okay up here?"  
"Robin!" Starfire and Raven both looked over to the door, Raven quickly pulling herself away from the embrace, lifting her hood upon her head once again. "Raven and I were just talking about.you know."  
"Oh, well is she okay?"  
"I'm fine." Raven's tone had turned cold; she hated being referred to in the third person while she was present.  
"She does not know what to do about Beast Boy."  
"I see; did you want me to leave? Guys aren't too good with this kinda talk." Robin backed away slowly, uncomfortable in the position that he had stumbled onto. He was involved in a relationship, but he, like most guys, had trouble talking about them.  
"Fine, I will see you at the evening meal." Starfire watched as the door shut behind him before moving back to the edge of the roof where Raven had reclaimed her spot.  
"Robin is concerned for you as well." Raven scoffed, desperately trying to regain the control she lost. "Well all are. We just want to make sure you are happy." Happy, that is something Raven was very rarely in her life. "I can't pretend to know how you exactly feel about him, but I'm sure that despite your troubles and pain, Beast Boy can help make you so." Again, silence filled the air and Raven's mind pondered over the words spoken by the alien girl next to her. It was funny to her that despite the large difference in cultures, love and happiness are the same ideals as it was here.  
Raven thought back to the day at the shop, and the early morning of the day they almost.She seemed to be happy then, that's what she had forgotten this whole time, that for a brief period of time, she had been happy being with him. Perhaps, it wasn't about choices or uncomfortable situations after all. Maybe, Starfire was right after all, maybe all she needed was to have someone make her happy. A soft glow swelled up within her, warming her entire body. She let go, for she had no worry of those troublesome emotions anymore. Now, she was clear on what she felt, and she was clear on how another felt about her.  
  
Beast Boy waited impatiently inside the hall that connected Ravens Room to the main hall of the tower. He was nervous, not sweating, but nervous. To his great surprise, Raven asked for his company to a club downtown for dancing. Not them, Cyborg, Robin and Starfire, just the two of them. What made him even more nervous was the time it took her to get ready. His mind stiff reflected upon that night in her room, but he never thought that they would actually be going out together. Normally, Raven would sport her uniform everywhere, but for some reason, she took longer in preparing, as if she was to wear something else entirely. Just then a slight hiss sounded behind him as her door slid open. A bit jumpy, BB whirled around to see Raven standing in the door frame, hands held in front clutching a small purse. Then his eyes were filled with a blast of crimson as her sparkling red dress came into focus. It was a bright red slip with thin spaghetti strings that hung gently on her shoulders. The entire dress was covered with sequins that sparkled in the moonlight, almost hurting his eyes. Her hair had been fixed so that one side was held back while the other fell over her eyes. Soon, by logically assuming that Raven would not possess such a dress otherwise, BB now knew what Starfire's gift had been. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and the innocent shade of blush upon her cheeks made her seem to radiate with more beauty than BB had thought possible. "Wow.uh, um y-you ready?" "Mmhmm." Raven gave a slight smile and the two made their way down the hall. It had begun, and it had also ended. Where her pain and suffering began, her happiness and joy was sure to only have just begun. "Oh, and if you tell anyone about this, I WILL kill you!" BB smiled, and tried to muffle a slight giggle that rose in his throat. He was no longer nervous, he knew now how comfortable they made each other feel, and as long as they were together like this, they would both be happy.  
  
Note from the Author~ YAY!!! Now don't go writing hate mail worrying that this is then end folks because it's far from it. This is just the beginning! Or.maybe the middle actually. If you wish to message me, I got a new AOL screen name "communistfrance." And a little advice for fic writers, writing to music can bring out so many emotions, experiment a bit with music while you write, it helped me A LOT! 


	6. Somatic Dream

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not claim any false ownership and no copyright infringement is intended. All additional material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me.  
  
Chapter 6: Somatic Dream By: Ansa  
  
Inside the club the lights seemed to be dimmed darker than the night sky outside, only lit by the strobe lights that lasted but a fleeting moment. The music pulsed with intensity, each beat more explosive than the next, but the room seemed almost deafly calm to Beast Boy. Next to him, the vision in red had seemed to captivate his body and soul, leaving him an empty shell. To him, no one else existed, nothing else really mattered, for at that time he was with the one person her cared about more than he ever thought possible. The sequins in her dress sparkled when the lights hit them, briefly casting tiny dots of light everywhere around her.  
Beast Boy had not been the only one to notice her, for several young men around them also had seemed to have lost their souls to the girl with the dress red, like hellfire. At first, she seemed a bit hesitant, not used to this sort of environment, not to mention the attention she was getting. Her eyes gazed down at the floor, her hands gripping her tiny purse tight enough to rip it to shreds. But then as she felt Beast Boy's soft grip upon her hand, she lifted her head and smiled.  
"You want to find a table first?" Beast Boy could see her uncomforting feeling fade with her smile and nod. The table in which they finally sat was in the corner of the club, yet also giving a great view of the dance floor and everyone upon it. The two sat opposite each other, each feeling a bit awkward and confused as to what they were supposed to do next.  
Then the music changed, it became softer, slower, and with more feeling than before. The soft ambient noise as well as well placed drum rhythms and synth guitars seemed to give the room a cool bluish feeling of calm. Both of them felt it right away, each of their concerns melted away. They became more adjusted, and soon remembered once again why they were here. They looked up at each other at just the right time for their eyes to meet. Eyes, they say, are the window into the soul. What they saw in each others eyes was something beautiful, something pure, something they never wanted to let go of.  
Slowly, their chairs began to scrape against the floor, moving slowly around the elliptical table. The strobe lights made it look like one of those cartoons where someone was following you. One second they are far from you, then, a second later when you look back, they have gotten slightly closer. Inch-by-inch the chairs moved, almost in sync with each other. Then, underneath the table, their hands met, and the scraping stopped. Their grip was soft, yet, gently squeezing as well, letting the other know that they were their. There is something about holding hands that seems more soothing than anything else, something that puts the entire world into perspective. They were linked together by this grasp; their souls were one with each other. Together they would remain, neither wishing to let go, nor would they allow the other to try and break this lovely moment.  
Above the table, their eyes were still locked, but now looking softer somehow. They had closed slightly, turning up a bit as a warm smile grew beneath them. The music was so soothing; the two had practically melted into each other sitting there.  
"You wanna try dancing?" Raven began to blush, the question had caught her off guard, but mostly, she did not know how to dance, especially slow dance. She had shut herself out for so long, she had no idea what to do in these situations, but nevertheless, she was determined to figure it out.  
"Hmm? Oh, y-yeah." Without letting go of her precious hand, Beast Boy brought her up with him and led her out to the dance floor. Weaving through the people, the music seemed more present to her, she opened her ears, allowing her to take the full experience in. Each and every sound coming out of the singer's voice seemed as smooth and soft as the wind. When she was stopped in the middle of the dance floor, she felt a sharp pain of sorrow as Beast Boy briefly let her hand fall as he prepared himself for the dance.  
"Um.uh." Beast Boys face turned a bright red, his hands not sure where they wanted to be placed. Raven raised a hand to catch the soft laugh rising up her throat before she gave him a soft smile and guided his hands upon her waist, placing her own around his neck. She could tell he was nervous, rather, she could feel it, his hands trembling in place as they swayed to the soft sounds that flowed out of the large speakers. She thought it was cute, but then she didn't want to laugh at him again, fearing that would only make things worse. Instead she gave him a gift of a small peck upon the cheek.  
"It's ok." The trembling began to loosen in intensity, and then stopped altogether. It was just them now, no one else mattered. Not the rest of the team, not the DJ spinning such soothing music, not even the dozens upon dozens of people dancing around them, tonight, it was just them, and Raven never wanted it to end. For a brief moment the swaying stopped as the songs switched over. At first their grips on each other loosened, assuming another rave mix was on the way, only to have the echo of the guitar return as the almost angelic music returned to them.  
"To tell you the truth, I never thought we would be doing this kind of thing."  
"Me neither, but I'm glad that we were both wrong." Raven smiled, a warmer smile than usual, the kind of smile that would bring a man to his knees, a smile that she would only bear for the one whom she shared this dance.  
"So, what does this mean exactly?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, I mean, are we.uh.you know.going out?" Again, that bewitching smile gazed up at him.  
"Can't you tell by now?" Raven slowly let her head rest upon his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him as she did so, taking him a bit off guard. "Hold me." Her eyes now closed, she could feel Beast Boy obey, and his arms held her close, and warmed her body and soul. At that moment, she was the happiest she had ever been in her life, knowing that there was now someone there who would always be there to hold her close. And in that gentle embrace, she shed her sweetest tears, tears of joy.  
"You ok?" Beast Boy could feel that familiar soggy feeling through his shirt and looked down upon her, refusing to let her go for any reason.  
"I am now."  
  
Note from the Author~ *Is ashamed of himself that he almost cried in writing this* Okay folks, I know its short but its perfect as well so BACK OFF!!! Anyways, this chapter was written entirely to the music of Soma*. I suggest checking them out at www.mp3.com and try reading this whilst listening to their songs "Blind" "Wildlife" and "Letting the Ghost Out." 


	7. Fallen Angels

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of the DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such ownership. All additional material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me.  
  
Chapter 7: Fallen Angels By Ansa  
  
The night gave way to morning; the dark blue curtain over the city pulled back and let warm yellow sunlight pour in. But for Raven and Beast Boy, it did not come, the darkness did not give way, and sun did not warm their skin. The sun was blocked from any sight, and no lights provided them with any type of vision, if they were still awake. Their eyes were shut completely, their minds still adrift with dreams of the previous night. Beast Boys bed was empty, and Ravens, was quite full. Together they slept on top of the covers in each others arms. They had not made love, nor had the thought of ruining the night even crossed their minds. Instead, they had merely fallen asleep in each others, embrace, still in the clothing of last night that reeked with cigarette smoke from the club.  
Raven had awoken, but still lay there, enjoying every second that she had of this moment. Facing Beast Boy, still in his arms she looked up at where she would assume his sleeping face was, the darkness making everything a dark blur. She smiled, yet, she knew he would not see but smiling anyways. She felt safe and warm inside his arms, they way he held her made her feel special, and protected in a way that no magic could provide. Her own arms had drifted away in the night, during her tossing, resting up by her mouth. Moving them up very slowly, she felt for his face. Her hands fumbled around for a while, touching his clothes and frizzled hair just before the feeling of his soft skin reached her fingers. She left them there for a moment, afraid that he might wake, but then once she was sure, she let her palm cover his soft cheek. With her hand as a guide, she closed her eyes and leaned in to wake him properly. She was nervous, she never thought she would be the one initiating a kiss, nor would she think that her first would be with Beast Boy. But, her trembling nerves were no match for her passion swelling inside her. She knew she wanted this, and she knew that Beast Boy would not argue. Just then a burst of light poured into the room as her door slid open. Even though the speed never changed, she got a sense of urgency about this. Quickly she brought her hand back to support herself up off the mattress, waking the one next to her in the process. Her hair fell in her face obstructing her view at first, but after a quick pull back, she was able to make out the outline of Robin standing in her door frame. "Robin? What is it?" He did not answer; instead, his panting gave her the signal to prepare for another battle.  
  
"So I hear that you and Beast Boy spent the night together?" Starfire began her usual, meaningless chit chat as the team made their way to the scene. Raven the only other flying at the time was the target of a quick conversation. "Who told you that?" "Robin." Again, Raven scowled, she had seen last night as something pure, something she never wanted cheapened. Of course most would assume this to be something it wasn't, and Robin coming across it, didn't help. "Well, whatever you are thinking it didn't happen okay?" "I don't understand." "What?" "Didn't you two go out dancing?" Raven blushed, she might have jumped the gun and made things more complicated then they had to be. "Oh.yeah we did." "Why, what did you think I was referring to?" "Nothing." Raven could tell that would not stand with Starfire, her mind desperately racing to find a way to steer the conversation into another direction. Meanwhile, Beast Boy was having his own problems on solid ground. "So, I hear you and Raven spent the night together huh?" Cyborg cracked a menacing smile while running beside a green-shaded cheetah that for a brief moment reverted back to its human form. "What? Who told you that?" "Robin. But I gotta say, I never thought you and her would." "Hey, it's not what you think man!" "Sure it isn't, you animal!" Beast Boy growled only to be interrupted by Robin's face pushing through between the gap separating him and Cyborg. "That's enough you two; we got a job to do." As soon as his words made connection, a large figure grew in the distance. The horizon fell with each step they took, but no matter how close they got to it, the figure still seemed to grow in size. But this was not the usually growing in size as you approached someone from afar, this seemed more of a drastic amount of growth. Finally, the creature came into view, about the size of a street light, and as wide as the entire street. His skin, if you could call it that, was a dark red, almost black in some areas. Eyes were not existent, only a large gaping mouth was present on what was assumed to be its face. The arms that protruded from its body were as wide as a station wagon, reaching out and down to the streets. "What the heck is that thing?" Beast Boy quickly stopped in unison with the rest of the team, both disgusted and a bit intimidated by the behemoth that stood before him. "I don't know but it's not going far, LET'S GO TITANS!" That was always the signal, it had always been, and they all knew that there was no turning back now. There they stood before a towering mammoth of a monster, not sure exactly of how to approach it first. The flyers, Raven and Starfire, were first to attack, sending blasts of energy surging into its chest. Below them Cyborg began to work at its legs, latching on and pounding into the crimson "skin" with such force sparks were sent flying in every direction thought possible. Robin quickly used his tether to swing up and behind the creature landing a bomb on the back of its assumed neck. All of this was futile, the energy blasts were simply absorbed, sinking into the skin, illuminating it as it was absorbed. The bomb that had been attached to back of his neck had exploded, barely causing flakes to disperse, the smoke of the explosion temporary blinding it, if it is possible to blind something with no eyes. Thinking quickly, Beast Boy morphed into a giant green squid, his long tendrils reaching out to grasp the monster's flailing limbs, holding them in place long enough for his colleges to escape the onslaught of blows it threw at them. "Hold it right there Beast Boy." Raven quickly flew up behind the creature her eyes glowing an eerie white from under her hood, her hands surrounded by spheres of pulsing black magic. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos." the familiar words rang in her ears as a gust of wind swirled around her, the black magic starting to pulse even stronger than before. Her hands then were laid upon its skin and soon the monster itself began to glow with her supernatural force, letting out a mighty howl of either pain or annoyance, no one was quite sure which. Quickly Beast Boy let loose his tendrils and morphed back to his human form, looking up as the monster glow a deep purple screeching loud enough to shatter the windows around them. Just then, it broke away from its agony and swung a hand out that sent Raven flying, crashing through an office building window, knocking her unconscious. Raven could see it coming, but she was only allowed a quick gasp for a response, before she could do anything, the pain surged through her as she felt a brick wall hit her entire body, her magic providing no protection. She was still left conscious for her flight down the block, other buildings streaking past her were only seen as giant grey blurs, her head beginning to bleed from the impact with its massive fist. Then came the second impact, this time with a glass window. Even though it had been with glass, at her speed it felt no different than the monsters blow. Her ears were deafened by the sound of glass around her, the shards imbedding themselves in her back and head. Finally, her final impact with the wall of the room, seemed to hurt the most, bringing a sudden halt to her speedy voyage through the air. The man inside was fortunate enough to have placed his desk on one of the far walls of the room; the only injury he sustained was that of the shards of glass. Raven, was not as lucky, it was then when she started to loose consciousness, just after she felt the warm liquid streaming down her head. Everything went black, and for the longest time, she was left to her dreams and nightmares of a long recovery.  
  
"Hey, I think she's coming to." Raven's ears awoke before her eyes, even then only allowing her a blurred view of her surroundings at first. When she opened her eyes, she noticed that only one was able to receive the images of the sick bay at the Tower and the rest of her teammates surrounding her that is all except one. Aside from one working eye, she could also feel stiffness in her right arm, forehead, and chest. "Wha-What happened?" Raven tried to sit up only to be pushed back down by the hand of someone who could not be seen with her current functional eye. "Hold on there, just relax, you got pretty banged up there. We were worried that you might slip into a coma." "What?" Raven turned her head as far as the stiffness in her joints would allow to see Robin and Starfire sitting on to the left of her, Cyborg and Beast Boy, she assumed, would be to the right of her. "That thing hit you pretty hard; you flew about a block before you finally crashed into that office building. You had that accountant pretty shaken up I'll tell you that much." Raven tried to laugh but found she didn't have enough strength in her chest to do so. "You're going to need as much rest as you can, but you have to wait until tomorrow to get some sleep just to be sure." "Why?" "You have a slight concussion, along with a broken arm, two broken ribs, and a pretty large cut in you forehead. Not to mention the fact that you had a lot of glass in you when we found you." Raven cringed, knowing that she most likely would not get the comfort of her own bed for a while, the smell of plastic and sterile instruments would plague her senses for more then she would be able to stand. "Did we at least win?" Raven let out a loud sigh, figuring if she was going to be in sick bay for a while she might as well find out how the battle went. For a moment, Robin and Starfire looked at each other with a solemn expression on their face before answering. "Yeah, we did, but." Robins face grew more concerned all of a sudden, his voice dropping suddenly to fade off without finishing his thought, fading so quickly there was question to whether he actually intended on finishing in the first place. "What? What is it?" Raven grew more agitated when once again; no answer came to her inquiries. The agitation soon grew to worry and concern, now exactly sure what she was worried about. Robin slowly stood up and moved to the hospital curtain hanging behind him and Starfire, pulling it back slowly to reveal a second occupied hospital bed. "NO!" To her horror, the receding curtain revealed a Beast Boys bruised body, covered in bandages, and hooked up to a life support system. The IV's hanging from his arm made him look more mechanical, colder, taking away the warmth that she loved so much about him. The tears began to flow, soaking the gauze covering the eye that would not allow her other eye to see. "No.Beast Boy."  
  
Note From the Author~ *cowers in fear* PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! 


	8. The Pain of Such Passion

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. They do not belong to me, nor do I claim such false ownership. All additional material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me.  
  
Chapter 8: The Pain of Such Passion By: Ansa  
  
"Now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me."  
-Evanescence  
  
"Do you remember that day on the subway? I don't think I ever felt so secure with someone else as to let myself fall asleep next to them before." Raven sat next to the hospital bed, the chair she propped herself up with taken from across the room, and her delicate hands grasping that of Beast Boys. He felt cold, the warmth had left his body, though it was still alive, she could not recognize this body in front of her. "I was surprised at myself actually; trying to push it out of my mind like it was nothing." Her own hands were warm, yet in touching Beast Boys, gently massaging the upper side of his with her thumb, they became chilled. Where she had once been quite warm, a slight shiver ran down her spine now, a chill that gave her a sickening feeling in the back of her throat. She scolded herself, wondering how she could have been so stubborn as to push back her first feelings of compassion, but, it didn't much matter anymore now. "I know better than that now. I'll never be so foolish ever again, I can promise you that." The room around her had grown dark, technically, the day had just begun, yet there was still to be several more hours of darkness. The others had left, saying their "good nights" followed by the ever popular "everything is going to be just fine." But Raven knew those were just words. They had no meaning except deceit, a cover for the uncertainty that lay ahead of them. All the lights had gone dim, the only light coming from the haunting life support monitor. "It's strange, how much I've changed in the past few days. Where, I used to think that emotions, like the ones I'm feeling now, were just something useless, something that only got in the way of things." Raven had come to despise that monitor, its incessant beeping could drive one insane, but that's not why she hated it so. Its beeping was someone else's life, but not just anyone's life, her friend's life. Each beep signaled another beat of his heart, mocking her so, making sure she knew that at any second, a single beep would sound, and would trail, and leave behind it a long flat line of light and two shattered lives. Although she refused to look at it, it made its presence known every single moment of this already harsh reality check. "Did I ever tell you why I wore that dress last night? I wore it, because I wanted to look nice for you. That's never happened to me before, and never again, not for anyone else but you." Despite earlier warning from her colleges, she had left her bed, but not without an exorbitant amount of strain. Even as she rested in her chair, she could feel a sharp stabbing pain in her chest where she was told, lay three mending ribs. But at that moment, she would not allow herself to give into the pain; all that mattered to her was being right where she was when he woke up. "To tell you the truth, I actually kind of liked it. Being all dress up, it felt nice to look good for once, to want to look good." Beast Boys body was riddled with its own scars and bruises. His ankle had been shattered, his ribs only bruised due to the animal form he was in at the time, and his left fibula was practically destroyed. His shirt had been removed to set in the heart monitor sensors, giving Raven the agony of a view of the many bruises that formed a sea of black upon his right side. I hurt so much to see him like this, like nothing else ever had before. The pain within her swelled up and swallowed her heart whole, leaving her empty inside. But her will forced her to continue on, she was determined not to let him see her cry when he awoke. She also banished the word "if" form her mind, right now there was no "if" there would be no tolerance for it. Earlier, she had been told the entire story, how it all happened, even now, she could not comprehend the words spoken to her. She had been stricken down, that much she knew, but afterwards was a complete blank. Nothing between the loud crash and the glass streaking by her was comprehendible to her; it was all a haze in her mind. But for the rest of them, the moment would never be forgotten; it would be burned into their memories for as long as they possessed them. They watched as Beast Boys eyes were filled with this image of the girl in black stricken aside like nothing, and was replaced by a fire that build up from a flame of passion in his soul. He then leapt into the air morphing into the all-too-familiar green pterodactyl, beating his wings furiously after the young girl who was also quite airborne. He tried desperately to catch up with her only to have something that felt lick a Mack Truck, slam into his side. The Monster's fist caught him in the chest, catching him off-guard, loosing his concentration as he morphed back to human form. He fell thirty feet before landing quite awkwardly on the pavement, his face twisted in pain as his legs nearly caved in beneath him. The pain shot through his entire body, paralyzing him and numbing his senses at the same time. That was just the opportunity the thing needed, sending its palm down upon the earth, sandwiching Beast Boy beneath the two, kicking up large clouds of dust that blinded his teammates. Then, silence came; darkness came for him as well, only he had yet to awaken from it. Raven could almost see it in her minds eye, Robin's description of the events provided excruciating detail, enough for the sound to ring through the mocking beep of his heart. "That's why I need you to get better for me okay? So I can start looking good for you again." This was implausibly tough for her, keeping herself from crying took great strength and will, allowing only quick, dry sobs that only lasted about as long as the beeps of the monitor next to her. Her hands began to cringe, her grip becoming tighter on Beast Boys frigid hands. She was starting to loose all control now. "Hey, let's make a deal okay? When you snap out of this, we'll go to that tofu place you're always talking about. Then later, maybe we can go to the mall so you can help me pick out some more dresses. Okay?" As with all of her questions, there came only the beeping of his heart as a response. For a moment, she couldn't even hear that, her own heart beat coming into focus, pounding in her ears with the same rhythm of his BBs. They were one now, their hearts beating together, kindred spirits, she knew that now. Even though it was only a heart beat, that was all they needed to be together. And that was what she now realized was her only true wish in life. That was what she wanted now, that was what she wanted forever and a day. All she needed was him to live in peace with herself. "Please, you can't do this. Not now. You have to live for me, you can't leave me; you just can't." Raven's will had been under tremendous strain, and had just decided to give in, and the tears came once again. The dry sobs turned wet, and more frequent, forcing her to collapse, burying her face in the mattress, her tears soaking into the sterile sheets, giving them a sense of being to them. Her sobs came harder now, between which her mouth tried forming words, but nothing came out, only her cries followed by the water leaking from her eyes. Her will was shattered, her heart was sinking deep in the void of sorrow that had returned from its slumber, and her soul was left without a partner, without a meaning. Between her cries and the mocking heart monitor, the silence had been broken beyond repair. But somehow, amongst her sorrowful sounds escaping her lips, three words were able to leak through, the three words she never thought she would ever say. "I love you." She was shaken by these words, frightened by them. Love, something she had never experienced before, was something that she feared so. So many questions about it raced through her mind. Did he love her? How long will it last? What would she do if he left her? These questions were almost as mocking to her as the heart monitor. Her cries only intensified at this, that is, until she felt a slight pressure on her right hand, still attached to that of Beast Boys. Her heart stopped, she could almost hear the trailing tone in her head as her sobs stopped suddenly and her head lifted slowly. The pressure was faint, but just enough to get her attention, and was slowly getting stronger. "R-Raven." A weak voice made her heart jump once again, this time bringing forth the flow of tears, rather than halt them. She turned her head to see Beast Boys eyes pried open slightly, a weak smile forming under the air mask over his face. Raven's face seemed distorted, a smile trying its best to form out of her still weeping face, her eyes showing the same love and compassion as his, kindred spirits once again. Around the corner of the door frame, the rest of the Titans peered in, their hearts filled with a mix of relief and joy at the scene unfolding before them. Starfire's understanding of human emotions becoming slightly clearer. "We should go; it would be cruel to disturb them now."  
  
Note from the Author~ Okay folks, happy now? And just for the record I was never planning on killing anyone off. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it and hope you will stay on for the last few chapters of this series. 


	9. Higher

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such false ownership. All unrelated material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me.  
  
Chapter 9: Higher By Ansa  
  
The pain that each of them had felt was excruciating, both physical and mentally, almost to the point of crippling. The physical therapy that was supposed to help them, caused more pain that it should, each night they went to bed aching to the verge of tears. Somehow, they found their way through it together, holding the others hand through all the pain so that they knew that they were together, and that anything one felt would be comforted soon. The dark veil of sorrow had lifted, and simple fact that they were together would be enough to pierce through it and shed light unto their world if it had not.  
The days were spent together in pain, and night was spent together in love. Once again, several opportunities for them to make love had come up, sleeping in a single bed, but they had passed on each one. What they had would not be cheapened by that of physical desires; theirs was a love that rang true throughout all the odds against them and all the bad blood between them in the past. There they lay together, two kindred spirits finally together after a lifetime of separation. The sheets around them clung to their bodies as if they too wanted to be apart of this sacred bond. The rest had questions the fact of them sleeping together and not making love, and though they never really gave back an answer, they knew the reason in their hearts. In sleep ones body is vulnerable to many things, and to sleep with another is showing a great trust in them, trusting that your body will be safe in their embrace.  
Under the covers, only the multiple bandages and bruises covered the skin left untouched by the clothing they wore under their outer layer. And even though their bodies were intertwined together, no pain came out of it, despite the multiple sore spots that would bring back the pain of the previous day. In sleep, they lay together, safe and serine in each others warm embrace, knowing that when one woke up the other would surely be there, and that gave them more joy then they ever dreamed possible. As the weeks went by, the bandages began to shrink in number, the bruises slowly fading away to the skins natural tone. Weeks formed months until the bandages disappeared completely, leaving nearly unblemished skin that was now free to glow with pride. And with each morning of those few months, Raven woke up to the greatest day of her life.  
Winter was now upon them; small globs of white fell from the sky and hid the roof of the tower, and painting the corners of the windows with frost. Inside, color became much more abundant, making one feel like they were stepping out of a black and white 8mm film and into a full color Christmas special starring Bob Hope if he were to visit them. The tree stood proudly in the center of the room; the couch encircled it, developing a warm place to gather and look upon the symbol of peace and joy itself. The fire was always lit, both warming the room and adding to the already growing amount of color, large flickers of red light danced on the walls providing games of guessing what each flame resembled. For once, the kitchen was not full of tofu, most of the baking of the season being sweets and fruitcake there was no need for it. All of these things were recognizable for each day of the approaching holiday, as well as Raven and Beast Boy walking arm-in-arm down the halls.  
Both had changed a great deal through their experiences, but neither had regrets. Raven had now begun to wear everyday clothing instead of her costume around the tower, the winter season bringing out a warm green sweater and black corduroys. She had also begun letting her hair out, letting it curl naturally at the ends as it reached her shoulder blades from its previous length. Beast Boy had become more mature somehow, if it was even possible for him. He still kept the charm and humor that had existed before their relationship, but now he seemed much more mature and caring. However one thing had not changed that had also become an issue with the group, something that was a regular topic of conversation.  
"Comon guys, you don't need to hold back because of us. We're all friends here." Cyborg was usually the one who initiated it, always the same dumb smile on his face when he spoke.  
"What? What do you mean?"  
"You know what I mean man. You guys have been together for what, three months? Yeah, three months and not once have we ever seen you guys kiss." No matter how many times the topic came up, no matter how much she got used to having it being a part of everyday talk, Raven couldn't keep herself from blushing with the last delicate word.  
"Will you give it up already Cyborg? You've been on them about this almost every day, now just let it go. When they're ready they're ready ok?" Once again, Beast Boy was saved from a moment of stuttering before an awkward exchange of a look between him and the one attached to his arm. Since they got together, Robin and Starfire had always been an excellent source of support, experience derived from their own relationship.  
"It's not like I'm asking them to make out or anything."  
"Its called tact man, get some." They all gave out a soft laugh, even though Cyborg was the only one alone and was constantly sticking himself in between their relationships, he was still apart of the team and still a good friend.  
  
"Hey, I've thinking about something lately." Ravens voice came unexpectedly, breaking BB's concentration as he flipped through his comic books, sprawled out on the floor of his room; Raven perched on the edge of his bed looking down at him.  
"Thinking about what?" Once again Ravens cheeks became that of roses blooming in the spring, barely able to let the words fall out of her mouth.  
"W-Well, I was wondering."  
"Yeah?"  
"Maybe we should try." Raven was so nervous, she found herself unable to even speak of it. "Maybe we should try doing 'it.'" Beast Boy nearly passed out, his heart came only inches from jumping clear out of his chest, his own face flushing red and a small drop of blood flowing out of his nose.  
"W-WHAT?"  
"Well, I've been thinking about what Cyborg said and."  
"Cyborg? He talked you into this?"  
"I mean, Robin and Starfire are." Beast Boy was going into conniptions, his mind desperately trying to grasp the situation.  
"You're serious, you really wanna do. 'it'?" Raven, lowered her head a bit before nodding, a slight smile growing on her face as the flush became more evident. Beast Boy was beside himself, no sure what to do, starting to think out loud to himself. "Well, I guess we're ready, I mean if you really think we should. But I need to get some condoms though."  
"CONDOMS????" Raven's head shot up, her face beet red at the sound of the word. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"  
"Wait, you just said you wanted to do 'it'."  
"I MEANT KISSING YOU IDIOT!"  
"Oh!" Beast Boy secretly let out a sigh, relived that his only concerns at the moment was trying to get kissing right. Silence then filled the room whether it was trying to clear the awkward moment or actually considering the fact neither of them quite knew. "Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with that." Again silence.  
"H-How is this supposed to work?" Raven had calmed down, her nervosa returning and turning her cheeks the same shade of red as before.  
"I don't know I'm as new to this as you are." Beast Boy slowly rose to sit next to her on the bed, their hands by their sides looking nervously the other way as they pondered what to do.  
"We almost did it back before the accident, so it can't be that hard right?"  
"Yeah, you're right."  
"So how do you want to start?"  
"I dunno, maybe, hold hands I guess." As if it was some kind of signal, they each grabbed for the others hand, gently trembling in this delicate moment. Then, the words had left them, and their feelings took over. As they looked up into each others eyes, the same feeling of joy they felt in the morning returned to them like a rush of water flowing over their entire body. They were again one, kindred spirits, one soul shared in two separate feelings. Their eyes slowly closed shut as their heads tilted either way so not to bump noses. Leaning in was the hardest part, knowing it was coming, but not knowing what to expect, not know if they would be doing it right. However, the moment was soon broken by a hard bumping of foreheads. The two leaning in too far, sticking their heads out further than their lips, quickly shot back in embarrassment.  
"Ow."  
"Sorry bout that."  
"It's ok, it wasn't your fault." Raven let out a soft laugh, her precious smile returning as she rubbed the point of contact. The two sat there for a moment, and then tried again, this time leaning in only in the slightest, making sure their lips would make contact before their heads. They could feel each other's breath blowing past them, warm and calming. Just then Raven let out an annoyed sputter as a large clump of hair fell from behind he ear and flew forward into her face. "Sorry."  
"No problem." This time they both let out a soft bit of laughter, a bit humored by their troublesome attempts at affection they both desired to show each other. "Maybe we're rushing into this."  
"You think?"  
"Well, I know we've been going out for a while now, but that doesn't mean we have to start kissing by a certain time."  
"Yeah, I guess."  
"You ok?"  
"Yeah, it's just that it's a bit frustrating that's all." Beast Boy placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a warm smile of assurance as he held her close. "I just, for once I'd like to know what its like to show your love for someone." And with those words, Beast Boy quickly took her, taking the opportunity that caught them both off guard. Perhaps that was exactly what was needed because this time nothing stopped them. Raven swooned in his arms as he kissed her, his lips felt warm and soft against hers, not like anything she ever felt before. Quickly she came accustom to it, and learned to breathe through he nose, closing her eyes as she drank him in. She had received his affection and now she returned it, using her lips to open his mouth, making the experience more passionate, yet still just as gentle as before.  
It was how she had always dreamed, however as quickly as it had come; she accepted it with full affection and pleasure. She was so overcome by joy she threw her arms around him, knocking him over on the bed so that she was on top of him, their embrace unbreakable. She felt everything she had hoped, care, love, joy, and yet she still felt sorrow, but not the sorrow she had once felt. In this passion, her sorrow was only fueled by the knowledge that it would eventually end. However real that reality would be, she knew that no matter what, she would always be there with him, and they would always be there for each other, to take each other one step higher. 


	10. Only You, A Means to an End

Disclaimer~ Teen Titans and all other related characters and material are the property of DC comics and Cartoon Network. I do not own them, nor do I claim such false ownership. All additional material is of my own creation and thus belongs to me. "Only You" and all its lyrical contents is the creation and property of Brondeau&Brando (Me and a friend) to save both of us money in court fees, DO NOT STEAL!!!  
  
Chapter 10: Only You, A Means to an End By Ansa  
  
Three years passed since their first kiss, and many things have changed. Friends have moved on, the world has molded into something new that is not much different from three years ago, but still new none the less. The Teen Titans, or the old band of Titans, have disbanded, making room for new members such as Aqualad and Kid Flash. Each Titan went their separate ways, however, Raven and Beast Boy remained together, their spirits still drawn together by some unseen force. Raven had begun to write poetry two years previous and was now going to a community college, Beast Boy supporting her decision whole heartedly. As for he, Beast Boy was working at a local garage to support Ravens college tuition as part of their agreement. Raven would go first and Beast Boy would support her as best he could, then would come his turn for higher education.  
New friends arose in this new life together, even though they kept in touch with the other Titans, these new friends could be there for them at anytime. Derek was a co-worker at the garage, and quickly grew friendly to the boy with the green skin. They would hang out together and play pranks using Beast Boys morphing ability, always available for a good laugh. Kristen was in Ravens psychology class and had become a part of her study group. Kristen was very good at becoming friendly with good people and took an instant liking to Raven, often wishing that she had hair as gorgeous as she.  
"Hey Derek, did you check out the white Sudan today?" Beast Boy grew a warm smile on his face as he reached for his cold class of cola, for some reason, his hands trembling as he picked it up.  
"No, what's up with it?" Beast Boy just smiled from behind his glass and in setting it down made a gun motion with his hands.  
"That thing is shot man! He might as well buy a new car with the money that he would use to pay us."  
"Oooh, that's harsh." Once again, Beast Boys hands shook as he lifted his glass, checking his watch for the fifth time in the same minute. "Dude, you ok?"  
"Huh? Yeah I'm fine."  
"You look nervous man, what's up?"  
"Oh, they're just running little late."  
"They'll be here; they had a test today remember?" Derek checked his own watch, waiting for Kristen to return. He had started dating the young woman after meeting her through Beast Boy who in turn met her through Raven. Just then the door to the café opened and Raven walked in, her arms overflowing with books.  
"Sorry, Professor Forbes wanted to see me after class." Raven set her books down on the table and gave her beloved a soft kiss on the cheek before taking the chair next to him.  
"How'd you do?" Raven gave a quick smile and thumbs up, her newest and favorite mannerism. Beast Boy smiled, he adored her so, every bit about her even more so then he had three years ago.  
"So, why'd you want to meet her today, I though you had work until eight?"  
"I took the rest of the day off; because there's something I need to do." Beast Boy slowly stood up and moved over to the corner where a small microphone stand and guitar was propped up against a stool. Raven and the rest looked on with curiosity as he got up onto the platform and the all the lights in the house dimmed except for the ones illuminating him and the small acoustic guitar. After a small test of the levels, Beast Boys voice could be heard over the overhead speakers in the café. "Hi, this song is for someone very special to me. I just learned to play this thing so if I suck please bear with me." Ravens face flushed red as a small spotlight fell upon her and everyone around her turned to look at her red cheeks. Soon, her embarrassment melted away as the gentle strumming of the guitar sounded, and Beast Boys song began.  
(When I first met you I knew you were the one  
Something inside me grew and filled itself with love.  
The glow inside my soul, sparked an eternal flame.  
You would be the one to guide me through lifes twisted games.  
Ohhhhh  
I just want to be with you, and no one else will do  
Nooo I just want to be with you.  
When you enter a room you fill it with your light  
When I look into your eyes I pray that I win the fight  
Ohhhhh  
I just want to be with you, and no one else will do  
Nooo I just want to be with you.  
Some say that life's too short but I think that it's just enough  
I'll spend my life with you  
It seems you called my bluff  
Ohhhhh  
I just want to be with you, and no one else will do  
Nooo I just want to be with you.  
You're all I ever need  
You're all I ever wanted here  
You're my shining light, You'll guide me through the years  
Ohhhhh  
I just want to be with you, and no one else will do  
I just want to be with you.  
Only you will do.only you.)  
The sound of the guitar was haunting, as was the words sung. Raven felt each one as it passed through her body and pierced her soul. Her eyes began to tear, her love growing, and his love quite evident. Halfway through Beast Boy got up and moved through the tables up to her and began singing directly to her. Only she didn't blush, she no longer cared who knew of their love, nor public affection. Then, something unexpected happened, on the last line, Beast Boy dropped to his knees, and pushed the neck of the guitar towards her. Hanging on the string adjustment was a shining diamond ring.  
Raven nearly burst into hysterical sobs at this point, her tears flowing down her cheeks as complete strangers stared and gave their "oohs" and "ahhs" over the rock attached to the golden band. If anything it was an engagement ring, and although she had never seen one before, she knew what it was immediately, her eyes growing wide as her smile desperately tried to force back the sobs of joy that were trying their best to break through.  
She never made a grab for the ring; instead she threw her arms around him forcing her lips upon his as they both fell to the floor. Now everyone was on their feet applauding the happy couple. This was the true beginning of life for both of them. It's ironic in a way, how the beginning is also an end. Their beginning would be the end of pain; the end of sorrow, their love brought any kind of sadness between them a means to an end.  
The End as Well as a Begining  
  
Note from the Author~ Well folks, it's been quite a ride hasn't it? I have to tell you, I have enjoyed writing this fic more than any other I have done, and I know you have all enjoyed reading it. Right now, I am not quite sure of what my next project will be, but you can be sure it will contain that same quality of writing I always tried to give you during FOREVERMORE. Thank you so much for all of your support. -Ansa 


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